Dawn has done it again. With everyone arguing over what CPEC was and wasn’t, it was Dawn that somehow got it’s hands on the China Pakistan Economic Corridor’s ‘Master Plan’ and leaked out it’s details to the rest of us. Although there are ambiguities and contradictions still, but we do know a lot more about CPEC than we did a week ago.

The China Pakistan Economic Corridor is supposed to be the grand old plan that will change the country’s fortune – or that’s how it has been pitched for the last three years. Fortunately for us, the good folks at Dawn got their hands on the CPEC Master Plan, a 200-plus page up-to-date document that runs through the strategic goals and action plan for the joint initiative.

Needless to say, CPEC sounds little more than an excerpt from John Perkin’s “Confessions of an Economic Hitman”, a case of exploitative economic colonization disguised as ‘developmental assistance and investment towards a poorer ally’. Here are a few key points that we feel you should know from the new leak:

Agriculture forms a huge part of the CPEC strategy

This is one area most of us missed. China’s basic goal from CPEC is the economic actualization of one of it’s most undermined areas, the Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region. One of it’s primary concerns is to tap into Pakistan’s agricultural potential. China aims to utilize cutting-edge agricultural technology and research with regards to machinery, seeds and irrigation in reaping the full benefits of the province’s agricultural portfolio.

As per the report, one of the main areas that lag behind are the lack of storage facilities. China seeks to overcome this with the establishment of storage facilities during all stages of the production and supply chain. This will lessen the wastage that occurs each year due to lack of storage facilities.

Visa-free entry for Chinese citizens, not so much for Pakistanis

China seeks visa-free entry for it’s Chinese citizens in a bid to promote it’s economic  and tourism interests. The irony here is that reciprocal facilitation for Pakistani citizens is not offered.

Dissemination of Chinese culture through a new fiber optic link

China seeks to develop a fiber optic link from Gwadar leading towards the Khunjerab Pass (via Sukkur – Islamabad) which will not only alleviate western China’s huge needs but will make the transmission of Digital Television Terrestrial Multimedia Broadcasting (DTMB) possible. Amongst many things, the document states that DTMB will enable Chinese culture and values to be disseminated throughout Pakistan.

For those who are aware of China’s lockdown on Islamic culture in the Kashgar region, this should be taken with more than just a pinch of salt.

Developmental of a coastal tourism industry in Gwadar and Karachi

The Dawn article paraphrases that dual vision of “yacht wharfs, cruise home ports, nightlife, city parks, public squares, theaters, golf courses and spas, hot spring hotels and water sports” across the Pakistani port areas. While this may seen like an excerpt from the Great Gatsby, there is little to doubt that the well off and affluent of western China are looking at Gwadar and nearby coastal areas as alternatives to the eastern Chinese waters.

The benefits are obvious for tourists and businessmen alike: the Indian Ocean is in a much more geocentrically important area than the Eastern China.

Invest with caution, my Chinese brethren

CPEC is not supposed to been as a certification from the Chinese government to it’s people, or so goes the theme with regards to it’s disclaimer to Chinese firms and private investors. The CPEC master plan clearly elucidates the socio-political realities of the country and warns investors to take full caution while treading on any uncharted territories.

Some of the risks that it warns against (and to be honest, understandably so) are extremely high inflation (which will diminish any far strung profit assumptions), the tumultuous security situation and interestingly, the fact that there are too many ideologies, races, religions, cultures and subcultures in the country to predict any long term socio-political stability.

Turns out, China isn’t pulling any freebies when it comes to CPEC. Thanks for the clarification, big brother.

When Donald J. Trump stepped into the White House, it seemed as if we had completely overestimated our ability to judge electoral results and political futures. But being homo sapiens, we must do we what we do best: make predictions even when we have no idea what our next meal will be. Our team therefore has assembled a list of reasons why we feel that Imran Khan’s political crusade is now a sure-fire dead end.

Basic Human Biology

Imran Khan is 64. And although he’s probably the healthiest 64-year old in Pakistan, there is little doubt that he has, at the very best, has 2 more elections to go before science begins to take it’s toll. Unlike the Sharifs (thank God), Khan does not have a lineage of conditioned-from-birth politicians waiting in the arms (Maryam and Co.) Add to that the diminishing appeal of a substantially older Imran Khan towards the youth and this is an equation which does not seem to optimistic. Unless – ofcourse – Mr. Khan can pull off a Bernie Sanders.

PML-N actually did some work this time around

PML-N has not done wonders. Infact, they have just been barely effective in most public domains. But the effort is there, especially when it comes to the crown jewel that is Punjab. PML-N – all it’s vile antics and idiosyncrasies aside – has stepped on the gas to ensure that PTI does not get any room whatsoever.

While the long-term feasibility of their biggest projects is definitely questionable, it needs to be understood that this is a country that has not had an effective government in decades. The expectations of the public, therefore, are spectacularly low, regardless of what it said on television.

Poor Captaincy & Mis-Fields

Even the biggest fans of Imran Khan have had their hair-pulling sessions once every few months. Imran Khan has a penchant for making political blunders: whether it’s making ridiculous statements and challenges or taking the wrong side at the wrong time. Additionally, he has never once come out on the winning side when it has mattered the most.

This held true even last month as the Panama Leak case decision was announced to the public.

The Bilawal Bhutto factor

The PPP and it’s megalomaniac leader Asif Zardari are not going to rest until the Pakistani Harry Potter gets his butt on the throne. While PPP’s popularity has gone done in North Punjab, the Bhutto name still holds great power across a large area of Sindh and South Punjab. Any false move by the PML-N, or it’s inability to provide electricity on time, will lead to a resurgence by the PPP, who will seek to bank on it’s Chairman, the younger Zardari.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians is still one of the top cable television shows in the United States. It’s reality-television format invites us into the lives of wealthy socialites and their antics. It sounds like a dud – but in just over a decade, the show and it’s stars have changed pop culture and re-invented social media for good or worse.

But is there a family in Pakistan that could generate the same amount of absurd shameless fun? We reckon there just might be: the Bhutto-Zardari’s. Find out why we feel Breaking Up With The Bhuttos isn’t such a bad idea.

The Family Prestige

The head honcho of the Kardashian Family, Robert Kardashian, was one of the lawyer’s of OJ Simpson, in what was easily the most famous trial in the history of the United States. Robert became a household figure, and of course, he was always filthy rich. Before he died, he inherited a good sum of money to his daughters alongside the family name. While this may same paltry in terms of what was inherited to Benazir Bhutto and later Bilawal, there are similarities still: family values that are highly libertarian, luxury-oriented and self-indulgent.

Asif Zardari is the Perfect Kris Jenner

Widowed. Children still bear spouse’s last name. Rumoured (if the media is anything to go by) a much younger, more attractive person. Trying achingly to make his children’s career more successful. Yes, there are far too many similarities between Kris Jenner & Asif Zardari.

The Controversies

Wherever you see a Kardashian or a Bhutto-Zardari, you expect to see controversy. It starts with simple accusations of lying to the heavyweight felonies of illegal wealth accumulation and moral degradation of an entire nation: these two lots are never away from their share of hair pulling controversy.

Then there is the whole Ayaan saga – which opens up another bag of worms: whose dating who? Are they in love? Is that a lizard on the wall?

The Bilawal Show

Let’s face it. Bilawal is to the Bhuttos what Kim is to the Kardashians. Sure, he doesn’t have a tape that made them famous, but there are a lot of similarities. Firstly, he’s a big time drama queen. Expect Bilawal to raise a tantrum every now and then. Plus, while we don’t expect him to have a Bruce Jenner-style gender crisis, we will expect friends and family to throw in a jab at his every now and then. That will make for some great television.

The material life and questionable ethics

Love ’em or hate him, almost everyone has an issue with the questionable ethics of the Kardashians: they lie, cheat, steal and downright fake their way through the day to get whatever it is they want in life. Although we are no one to make the analogy, many of these same accusations have been made against the Bhutto’s and Zardari’s for nearly half a century now. Whereas Asif Zardari’s famous challenge of ‘innocent until proven guilty’ may ring true, it also goes to say that it’s not easy proving you guilty when you’re the richest and most powerful man in the country.

Misbah-ul-Haq and Younis Khan have officially said goodbye to the game. Two of the most prolific scorers in the modern-day test game, the duo have often divided cricket fans with their ability to be absolutely world class for a long period of time and then absolutely go bust when it mattered the most. We, the cynics at CurryFlow, round up a list of negligent attributes that we feel should not be ignored as we say goodbye to MisYou.

They were boring as hell

Let’s face it. A lot of us grabbed the remote as soon as these two got out there. Yes, they saved you a lot of test matches and even a few one dayers (Misbah’s sure-fire 50 every other match), but there was zero entertainment value. Zero. As the saying goes, you would rather watch a pair of monkeys fornicate then see a partnership blossom between these two batsmen.

They literally ended Muhammad Yousuf’s career

Muhammad Yousuf was at the peak of his career and all set to become Pakistan’s greatest ever batsmen across all formats – atleast in terms of stats. But then Younis and Misbah happened. Yousuf, for no real drop in form, was dropped from the side due to team chemistry issues and was never to be seen again. His only appearances these days are when he’s trashing Rameez Raja or the occassional Pakistani batsmen on a random television show.

They were tragic heroes who faltered when it mattered the most

For all their match winning exploits, the two unfortunately faltered when it mattered the most. Unlike the likes of Dhoni, Kohli and Inzamam, these two were often not victors at the end of a great innings. At best, they could be considered tragic heroes. This is particularly true of Misbah and less so of Younis, who did manage great numbers in test match wins, although just not the more important ones (Australia, anyone?)

They contributed the most when bowling standards in world cricket dwindled

The retirement of the Akrams, Muralitharans, Warnes, McGraths and so many other all-time great bowlers led to a shortage of truly world class bowlers. This is the main reason so many previously good batsmen became world class in the period starting 2005. Younis and Misbah were no different. As the quality of bowlers in the world became lesser (even more so as T20 took it’s toll), the two mounted impressive numbers in test match cricket – and there was no turning back.

Their statistical idiosyncrasies are far too many

Despite their great test match records, there are many statistical idiosyncrasies that will always stand out when these two are evaluated in the future. Younis Khan’s long and fruitless ODI career with an average of less than 35 and a miserly strike rate. Then there is the fact that Misbah has not managed a single ODI hundred and a strike rate even worse than Khan’s.

Babar Azam and company will soon 

Whenever someone who seems irreplaceable retires, we wonder how in the world will the team come through this? But of-course, that is never an issue in most cases. Someone will come through – they always do in the populated nations of South Asia where there are a number of young stalwarts looking to ooze through the setup and get noticed. Babar Azam, for one – he seems more talented then the both of them combined – and we won’t be surprised if he takes the Kohli route rather than the Khan route. The game has changed.

Hurry! Get to the Choppa!

Cinematic gold, isn’t it? The 1986 Sci-fi classic has not only stood the test of time, but it has exceeded it’s status as a cult classic to be rightly seen as the ‘quintessential 80’s Sci-Fi Action Film’.

Gleefully termed the ‘Manchester of Pakistan’ by those who know little else about it, Faisalabad is undoubtedly one of the greatest cities in the world. If the world consisted of only Punjab.

Hasan Minhaj became the first Muslim to host the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

“A farewell match is my right” – Shahid Afridi

These golden words were uttered by Shahid Afridi just a few weeks into his retirement.

Regardless of reports which state otherwise, Younis Khan has decided to hang his boots

Let’s admit it – for all the flak that our desi damsels get for showing too much skin and crossing

‘You know why people don’t like liberals? Because they lose.” – Jeff Daniel’s

We have come across dozens of weight loss programs and shortcuts each day on the internet

Just like the man himself, Karan Johar’s autobiography has it’s share of contradictions