Friday, July 30, 2021

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    How Faisalabadi Are You?

    Gleefully termed the ‘Manchester of Pakistan’ by those who know little else about it, Faisalabad is undoubtedly one of the greatest cities in the world. If the world consisted of only Punjab.

    The city is inhabited by a unique species that is found no where else. Despite best efforts of neighboring large cities, the inhabitants of Faisalabad have managed to intermingle and procreate with outsiders, thereby diversifying their own gene pool while spreading the ‘Juggat’ genes throughout the country.

    In the absence of high quality DNA testing, how does one assess if they have Faisalabadi genes within them? Here’s our quick self-assessment:

    You know you are from Faisalabad when…

    1.  It’s 2017 and you still have a Shahid Afridi / Rahul Roy haircut.

    2. Half of the people you know have a textile factory, or work in one, or were born outside one.

    3. You have a tough time learning in school, college and the workplace, but for some godforsaken reason, a Juggat pops up in your head every time some one does you wrong.

    4. You despite the gay community, but you still walk hand in hand with your best friends. Similarly, when really want to tick some one off from the same sex, you give them a big kiss on the cheek (sexual frustration alert)  and pretend to be in love with them – for no freakin’ reason.

    5. All the women you know probably have cat pictures or Kareena Kapoor pictures as their DPs. The rest of the world thinks they are fake profiles. How naive the world can be.

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